has a Big List
of things that make him angry. It's hilarious, and oddly enough, it turns out he's from Ottawa as well. Netfrost
thinks he knows him from IRC. But he's got a lot of local content. Such as:
Do you know how cold it was in Ottawa last week? Forty-five degrees Celcius below zero. That is so incredibly cold. On my way home from work, afraid that I wouldn't survive the 15 minute walk, I started to think about just how cold -45 is. Think of ice. I think we can all agree that ice is pretty cold. Ice is in fact synonymous with extreme cold. Ice is zero degrees Celcius. Last week the air was 45 degrees colder than ice. How nuts is that?
The Colborne Big Apple
If you've spent any time on Ontario's Highway 401, you've no doubt seen the big apple. You couldn't miss it if you wanted to. And believe me, you want to. It's about thirty-five feet tall and resembles an apple only in that it is red and round. It could just have easily been called the big tomato, the big pomegranate, or the humongous cherry. With millions of people driving down the 401 every year, I know hundreds of thousands of dorks in minivans are making Big Apple jokes. You've probably thought of a couple already. Keep them to yourself. If I'm ever filthy rich, I'm going to buy a piece of land right down the rode from Colborne and build a slightly bigger apple. Thirty-five feet two inches. Colborne, your days are numbered.
Billing Inserts from the Hydro Company
What's worse than an inexplicable billing insert from the hydro company? How about two billing inserts, one from the hydro company and one from the hydro company's regulator, both of which use the same euphemistic language to explain in the same confusing way that your rates are "changing." They're not changing man, they're going up. Just say that my rates are going up. I am strongly suspicious that a larger part of my bill goes towards printing billing inserts which I neither want nor understand than goes towards providing electricity. But these are the hydro people, so I guess I shouldn't be shocked.